I am seeking a "Life Coach" for my daughters.
I'm not exactly sure what a Life Coach does, but I think it must be somewhat like the role of a mother and I desperately need one.
I need someone who can coach my teenagers on both college and boyfriend applications, who will be their wardrobe consultant for Homecoming dresses, who will help design their vegetarian diets, be their go-to academic advisor when they fail a pre-calc exam, approve their extra-curricular activities, pay for the gas in their cars, and accompany them to get their eyebrows waxed.
In short, I need a stand-in mother!
This job pays nothing - but you do get to live with a guy who falls asleep on the couch each night and never comes to bed before midnight.
All who are interested in this position should leave a detailed resume in the comments section below.
Who am I kidding here?
Just show up at the door and give me a few days off!