This one needs to be subtitled, One of the reasons I need to be taking anti-depressants. Or perhaps it should be subtitled, One of the reasons we should be in family therapy. . .
Take a listen:
Thursday afternoon. . .
Her: Why are you calling me from your bedroom? I'm right in the kitchen!
Me: Because I came home sick from work again and I can't get out of bed.
Her: Well, what you want?
Me: Don't you have to babysit soon?
Her: Oh no! I forgot! I need to study for my A.P. Bio exam!
Me think: I knew it! She had everything "under control" yet again!
Her: __________ (insert younger sister's name) can you babysit for me? You're not doing anything. . . my A.P. bio exam . . . and Kimmie's coming over. . . and we're studying. . .
Me: Kimmie's not in your A.P. Bio class.
Her: Duh! I know that! Don't you think I know who's in my own class? We're studying, Mom! We don't have to be studying the same thing, you know. . . . people do it all the time. . . we practically do it like everyday, Mom. . . why are you giving me a hard time? . . . __________(sister's name again) isn't doing anything at all. . . .she can babysit. . . she's practically the same as me. . . what the heck is your problem???
Me: Well, what about your 6:30 appointment? (the make up for last week's missed appointment - refer to Conversations with my teenage daughter - take 3)
Her: I'm going to that, Mom! Do you think I would miss that appointment? . . . I would never miss that appointment! . . . . What do you think. . . I'm stupid or something? . . . . I have to study for my A.P. Bio exam . . . A.P. Bio. . . that's Advanced Placement, Mom . . . Do you have a problem with me studying? . . . I have 20 chapters to study and probably another one that I don't even know about because of the freakin' snow!!!
Me think: What the hell does the snow have to do with this????
Me: It's just that I've never known you to study in the afternoon. You're the one who always claims you could never even attempt to study until after dinner. . .
Her: Are you kidding? I've never had an A.P. Bio test before!!! . . . . Do you think I've taken a class like this everyday?. . . What is your problem, Mom? You better hurry up, cause I have to drive _________ over to babysit! . . . And then I have to study!
College Daughter heard in the background: Do you think you could try to be a little nicer to Mom? She's sick, you know. . .
Her: Mind your own business!
Me: Well you have to call Mrs. M. and ask her. . .
Her: Do you really think I don't know that? . . . Did you think I was going to drop her off and just let her go? . . . I haven't had any time for that, Mom! . . . You've kept me on the phone with you the whole time. . . when did you expect me to call her????
Me think: I give up.
Now, my bedroom happens to be right above our family room.
I haven't left my sickroom since the above conversation so I don't have any direct evidence to prove that my daughter did not use her time studying, but I do know this: The big screen t.v. went on. . . Kimmie and Trigger Finger Girl laughed a lot. . . and Kimmie's boyfriend arrived and stayed for a least an hour at which time Trigger Finger left to go pick up her sister from babysitting.
Family therapy here we come!