Friday, January 23, 2009

A letter to the big man

Dear God,

Thank you for sending that Angel of Mercy to the Stop 'n Shop earlier today.

I was clearly in a bad way. . . what, with the sudden intestinal distress that came over me not even halfway through the store. . . leaving me faced with a decision . . . Should I abandon my grocery cart right there and then? Could I possibly make it all the way to the dairy aisle???

When push came to shove, I just couldn't abandon all of those items I had so carefully placed in my shopping cart, so I beat a hasty retreat to the self-checkout with the chosen items, where - of course - I encountered some technical difficulties. . .

But you were so kind as to send that Angel with the Slovak accent who scanned my whole order for me. I promised that I would give that nice lady a recommendation for a cashier's job, but I figure it would be better to put in a good word for her to the big guy himself.
In my rush to leave the store, I didn't get her name, but hey - you're God - I'm sure you already know who she was.

If you have any questions, I believe you know where to find me.

With fondest regards, I remain. . .

p.s. I hope you didn't take offense when I chanted Sweet Jesus, come and squeeze us! as my mantra on the way home, but it was truly a long ride - proving that I should never again travel more than two miles from home in search of a bargain. . . .