Sunday, February 22, 2009

What's good for the goose. . .

I know that parents of young children sometimes look at (let's just call folks like me. . . ) more mature parents and wish that their own children were old enough to stay home alone. . . that a dinner out on a Saturday night didn't come with a $50 add-on for child care. . . that they didn't have to worry about a teenage babysitter bringing her boyfriend over while they're away . . .

Well, I'm here to inform you that it's no picnic on the other side of the street, my friends.

Take last night, for instance.

A few weeks ago my husband informed me that he had earned a free night at any Hyatt Hotel. And so we started making plans for a little overnight get-away.

But wait. . .

The children!

Now as you know, the "children" left at home are aged 18 and 17 - old enough to stay home alone, but definitely not old enough to be left home alone!!!

I could just envision the wheels of manipulative motion turning in my dear daughters' heads the minute we announced our plans for an overnight away. And I just knew, dear readers, that my house would have been host to a teenage-beer-and-vodka-fest-the-likes-of-which-have-never-been-seen-before!!!

And so I set the wheels of manipulative motion to work in my head instead, and decided to resurrect a trick from my own daughters' playbook - one that had been played out by them on many a previous Saturday night. (Indeed, this little tactic is so familiar I like to call the maneuver the Bait and Switch . . . you know, the one where they tell you they're going to some innocuous location with a few close friends and then call you at around 10:00 p.m. and beg you to sleep at Suzie's house until you finally give in????)

Well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, my friends!!!! And so I decided that my daughters' evil plots should finally come home to roost, and I put my plan in action!

  • My husband quietly made a reservation at the hotel in the very town we reside in.

  • As evening rolled around, we ascertained and approved the plans of each daughter for the night.
  • We packed our suitcases like stealth fighters.
  • I placed a call to my sister who lives next-door. (Yes, I have a sister who lives next-door, but that's a story for another day. . .)
  • And then the two responsible parental figures snuck quietly out of the house under the guise of going to get a quick bite to eat!

  • We checked into our hotel at 7:00 p.m.

  • Ate a scrumptious dinner at 8:00.

  • And returned to our room at 10:00.

  • Only after which, we placed a call to Trigger and Ponzi to inform them that We may just sleep at the Hyatt tonight. . . and threatened them both within an inch of their lives - threatened that their aunt and uncle had already been put on notice and were watching the house like a gaggle of hawks. . . that my husband just may decide to do a drive-by of the house some time in the wee-hours of the morning. . . and that I had successfully taught the dog sign language so that she could make a full report to us upon our return home.

All that, for a simple evening away!

I think - in retrospect - that I would rather have paid a babysitter. . .

With wheels of manipulative motion still rotating, I am. . .