Monday, June 22, 2009

To Catch a Daughter

So many of my readers write to me and ask: Oh Mom on Spin, how will will I ever be able to handle my child's teenage years? Will I know when they are drinking. . . or smoking. . . or lying to me about where they are going???

The answers to first two will have to be the subject of future blog posts. . . but as to catching a teenager in a lie? My advice, dear readers, is sometimes just as simple as to . . .LISTEN CAREFULLY . . . for in their rush to get to the party, your darling daughter - or her friends - might very well trip themselves up, and their lies will suddenly become as apparent as the nose on Pinocchio's face.

Take - for instance - my recent conversation with Ponzi. . .


Ponzi: Is it okay if I sleep at Suzie's house tonight? I'll be back first thing in the morning for Father's Day breakfast.

Me: Suzie's house? Are you really sleeping at Suzie's house? You wouldn't be sleeping at Timmy's or Tommy's house. . . would you?

Ponzi: Mom! Why don't you trust me?
Me Think: (Because I'm your mother, that's why!!!)
But I really answered: Trust? You want me to trust you this time?
Ponzi: Yes Mom. I want you to trust me.

Me: Okay. Suzie's house. You can sleep at Suzie's.
Ponzi: I swear. . . that's where I'll be!

And all was right with the world. . . that was, until Ponzi and Suzie left for their night out. . .

Me: Now, don't forget. . . you have to be home for our Father's Day Breakfast in the morning.
Suzie: Don't worry, Mrs. Mom on Spin. . . . I'll make sure she's home on time. I have to be back home first thing in the morning too . . .

And if this method doesn't work for you, you can always employ another of my tried and true truth-revealing strategies - feign disbelief at one of her sister's stories and all the lies she has told you will come streaming out of her sister's mouth in self defense. . .

Works every time.