Friday, July 17, 2009

Can You Hear Me Now???

Dear Mr. President of Verizon Wireless,

I love you.

Actually I think my husband loves you.

Or perhaps we're both in love with the customer service rep my husband spoke to on the phone yesterday . . . you know. . . the one who told him about your Family Freedom Plan, or some catchy name like that . . . (we don't care what you call it, as long as it makes me do cartwheels. . . ) with unlimited text messaging - no matter whether you're texting in or out of network. . . so each one of Trigger's 10,000 ( that's right I said ten thousand. . . ) monthly text messages will be covered under the plan?????

And that's not all. Do you know what else? (I'm guessing you're an educated man, Mr. President of Verizon Wireless, so I'm going to throw some latin phraseology in here, 'cause my daughters sometimes read my blog and there's something I don't want them to know. . .) Well, that lovely customer service rep actually agreed to ack-bate-day the activation of our freedom plan and everse-ray the latest $400 in exting-tay arges-chay!!!!!Don't you see why we love her?

And you too. We love you too!

And the guy on the commercial? You know, the one who looks a little nerdy and says Can you hear me now? Yeah, well we're his biggest fans now. And the ten thousand people standing behind him who represent The Network? We just adore them! Especially the guys swinging from the phone poles. As a matter of fact, we love them all so much we're going to send each and every one of them a text message to personally thank them for being a Verizon wireless employee. And we won't get charged a penny. . . even . . . if for some strange reason your employees choose another service provider!
And if you're looking for more witty and entertaining correspondence, go on over to Kat's bungalow and see what others are writing about.

Oh wait! It has just come to my attention that I have to add another little piece of correspondence to my husband. . .
Dear Mr. Drip (Dry)
Was it not just this morning that we agreed that Ponzi was not going to get a new phone unless and until she had the cash in hand to pay for it???
How was it that you fell prey to her promissory schemes once again? Don't you know that - even if we garnished that child's imaginary wages from now until the day she dies - she will never repay all of the money she owes us????
Why not? you ask. . . because. . . as we both know. . . she has no job!!!!
I am hereby removing you as an authorized decision maker on our new Verizon Family Freedom plan. Let's face it. . . . Veggie's going to have to be the brains of the family from now on!
Signed, your lovely wife . . . .