Thursday, October 22, 2009

So What Do You Expect to Happen when You Kiss a Dog?

So I bumped heads with my favorite daughter last night.

Now keep in mind that bumping heads with a favorite daughter is worlds apart from butting heads with a real one.

But, being that labrador retrievers generally have bigger-than-life blockheads, I broke the hinge on my glasses.

So here's a little-known fact.

If you want to torture someone who suffers from motion sickness, you need only do one thing - tweak the position of her eyeglasses.

Just. The tiniest. Bit.   

(Of course you could also offer to let her ride in the back seat of your car, view your home movies, or take a trip to the Coach outlet store . . .) 

And shortly you'll find that your unsuspecting victim is walking a tad-bit crooked and looking more-than-a-little-bit green around the gills.  And by 11:00 a.m., you'll hear her leaving work in desperate search for an optician who might be able to repair her damaged glasses.  And by 11:30, you'll find her back muttering under her breath while searching for the scotch tape. And by noon, she'll be begging you to wrap the tape around her spectacles for her because, of course, she can't really see to do it herself without those glasses on. And shortly after that, she'll be offering to kiss you for stabilzing her sight once more.  And then, by early afternoon, she'll be developing a business plan for turning her newly-taped glasses into the latest fashion trend.

'Cause she likes kissing dogs.

That's right, my friends.  She enjoys kissing dogs. . .

Oh - and the Coach store thing?  That's a story for another day.