I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm breaking up with you.
That's right, our long-standing relationship is over. . . Done. . . History. . . Finito. . .
After all of the time and money I have invested in you, I didn't think you would disappoint me.
But you have.
Do you know how I felt when I reached for you after a long, tough day (aren't they all) only to be disappointed? When, after struggling to Open flap A and Remove flap B, I pulled your little spigot out from your roly-poly belly only to find that something had gone terribly wrong with your fermentation process? Do you realize the pain I was forced to endure while drinking my husband's red?
And do you have any idea, Mr. Fish Eye in a Box, the "udder" discomfort I felt when I was forced to pull the insides out of your box, open your spigot and squeeze the equivalent of four bottles of wine down the drain of my kitchen sink?
I know that life may never be the same without your best customer, my friend, but you'll have to muddle through somehow.
You see that circle on the front of the box? That's A Mom on Spin's official seal of approval. I swear!