The meeting opened with a prayer.
Correction: The meeting with with a swear. The meeting opened with a swear word from the mouth of none-other than A Mom on Spin who - before moving on to further business - voiced displeasure at the fact that, upon returning home from a long day of work, she was once-again kept from parking in her proper parking place by a thoughtless teenager who left Roberta parked directly in front of her garage and did not answer the phone as she called frantically from the street. She also voiced displeasure at the fact that, upon entering the house with armloads of groceries, she found the kitchen sink filled with dirty dishes and the dishwasher filled with sparkling clean ones - despite the very visible sign on the kitchen counter which screamed, Empty Dishwasher!
Veggie, Trigger, and Ponzi all looked at each other and agreed they thought the sign was for someone else.
A Mom on Spin then moved on to the subject of Ponzi's 18th Birthday which was, in fact, the very next day. She reported that she had managed to take the day off from work and had just purchased the all-important breakfast of Lucky Charms before finding the aforementioned kitchen a disaster area.
Ponzi then reported that she intended to take a spin class at the gym early in the morning and so she would not be partaking of the traditional birthday breakfast after all, but that her mother was invited to join her at the gym if she wished.
A Mom on Spin then taught Ponzi the meaning of the phrase, When Pigs Fly!
The conversation then quickly moved to upcoming family plans.
A Mom on Spin informed all those present that her offer to host the "Cousins' Christmas" party on New Year's Day had - to her surprise - been accepted by no fewer than 31 of her closest family members and that she intended to enter full panic mode shortly. She then made a motion to foist responsibility for the party back onto another unsuspecting family member with a larger house.
Drip Dry, Veggie, Ponzi, and Trigger all dissented, swearing that they would chip in to help with anything A Mom on Spin needed.
A Mom on Spin then reminded them that this party was set for New Year's Day. . . you know. . . like the day immediately following New Year's Eve. . . and, since the party was called for noon and the Spin parents were also hosting a dinner party for New Year's Eve, their services would be required no later than 10:00 a.m. in the morning.
Veggie, Trigger, and Ponzi then very quickly recanted their previous offers of help stating things like. . . Oh, I'm spending the night in the city, I can't be home by then!. . . or . . . I'm going to be staying overnight at Kimmy's house, I can't possibly be up that early!. . . and even. . . Well I'm not sure what I'm doing for New Year's Eve, but I know I would never be home!!!! while Drip Dry alone stood firm and stubbornly continued to insist on hosting the party.
A Mom on Spin then accused Drip Dry of digging in his heels just to drive her crazy.
Drip Dry adamantly insisted that he would take care of all party preparations and clean up.
A Mom on Spin then reminded the family of the time she handed Drip Dry the toilet bowl brush and asked him to clean the toilets an hour before company was due to arrive - only to discover that he had dismantled the toilet seat and was soaking the nuts and bolts as the first guests walked through the door.
Drip Dry then asked for forgiveness for liking a clean house.
His motion was not seconded and the meeting was quickly adjourned.
Respectfully submitted
on this 29th day of December in the year 2009. . . .
