Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What Should a Teenage Driver Never Do to her Mother?

 Question #1: What should a teenage drive never do to her fragile, stressed-out, and vertigo-challenged mother?

Answer:  Text her the following message while driving someone else's seven-year-old child. . . These brakes sound terrible!

To which the mother quickly replies. . . What do they sound like and where are you? . . . before running into the liquor store for a bottle of wine and some lottery tickets (which are really the only two remedies that the poor mother can think of when yet-another of the family's vehicles starts messing with her  already-bad car-ma. . .)

Question #2:  What is the next thing a teenage driver should never do?

Answer:  Proceed to call said mother while she's in the liquor store and not leave a voicemail  when the mother doesn't pick up.

Question #3:  And what is the third - and final - thing that same driver should never do????

Answer:  Not answer her phone or her text messages for the next forty-five minutes so that the mother will become frantic - visualizing both the teenager and her babysitting charge unconscious in a ditch somewhere and fretting over the lawsuit that would ensue for allowing the daughter to drive a unsafe vehicle while wondering how she could convince the jury that Roberta really was the prized car in the Spin family stable????

Question #4:  And what - I might ask - is the moral of the story?

Answer:  That  next time A Mom on Spin needs to find a drive-thru liquor store!