Dear Life,
We persevered despite your setbacks.
Are you surprised? Did we foil your plans? Were you astonished to find that we danced over your hot coals and came through on the other side? (Or thought we did???)
Oh yes, we were a little battle-scarred and a whole lot wiser, but we thought we had you beat. Besides, we had much bigger fish to fry in our household. My daughters had entered their teenage years.
Talk about battles! Do you remember what you were like before the word “unlimited” was used in conjunction with cell phone plans? Do you remember Megan’s 4,032 texts messages in one month at ten cents a text? Do you remember underage drinking? Unauthorized use of credit cards? Curfews, concerts, and college applications?
And how about the introduction of “adhesive breast forms” (or “sticky boobs” as I used to refer to them?) Was it the dog’s fault that she happens to be a retriever and loved to store them away in the back of her crate, leaving them filled with pet fur when my daughters wanted them? I applauded her efforts – at least I wasn’t the only one who wanted those girls to dress modestly from time to time. If the outfit wasn’t big enough to accommodate a regular bra, it plainly shouldn’t be worn!
Do you remember the first time I found a leopard print thong in the household laundry; knowing with certainty it hadn’t been spawned from my old lady granny panties overnight? Or the time when I determined an astute laundress could hang a whopping 26 thongs from her pinkie?
Yes, those were the days, my friend. And my daughters lived them to their fullest.
Signed,
a very tired and grateful,
