First on one side. . .
Then the other. . .
I'm not sure, but it's 6:33 pm and I just picked up my box of wine and discovered that its very light tonight. I wonder who consumed its contents? I am now quite certain that before the sun sets I will be forced to take that plastic lining out of the box and milk it like its a cow's udder. And don't you think I'll be getting any help from Drip Dry stopping by the liquor store on his way home from work because he's out of state tonight on a business trip.
Speaking of states, I need to tell you that I envy those of you who live in certain of these United States where you can purchase wine at the gas station. Yup, you and your wine glass could pull up to the pump and say to the attendant, "Fill 'em both up!" Oh, I forgot; you people who are not from New Jersey have to get out of your car and pump your own gas. Trade offs, I tell you, trade offs.. .
What about those states that sell wine in the pharmacy? Perfect place for it to be. Medicine. It's pure medicine. Tell me, is it available in prescription form at the drive thru window?
And as for the convenience store? Well, those people would see a lot more of me if a stray bottle of Pinot Grigio were to replace a carton of milk now and again. For after all, it's mothers' milk; is it not? Who needs lottery tickets and cheese doodles?
I NEED WINE!!!
