Am I awake?. . . I'm not sleeping so I must be awake. . . Oh, no!!!!. . . . How long have I been awake?. . . I think I've been thinking for a while now. . . I wonder if this is an official "not sleeping" or just a temporary one. . . we'll know pretty soon, now won't we . . . I'll be exhausted in the morning . . . should have taken a Tylenol p.m. . . might be addicting. . . I bet they can be. . . just my luck. . . I'd be the one to become addicted to them. . . Christmas!. . . Oh, my God, change the subject. . . let's see. . .what will I blog about tomorrow . . . teenage daughters?. . . I can't mention the breakup . . . a little too personal. . . how about a thankful theme again. . . no, couldn't muster up enough to be thankful for. . . not sleeping. . . I'm definitely not sleeping. . . it's official . . . let me roll over. . . perhaps a trip to the bathroom?. . . no, too lazy. . . I'll blog about the college application thing. . . how she was texting through it all . . . but she was just texting her friend to see if that guy she knew liked that college. . . she didn't think I needed to freak out! like that. . . too late. . . water under the bridge as they say. . . get the right pillow that's all. . . now where was I?. . . Christmas! . . . no, silly, it is way too late to take a Tylenol p.m. . . . what's wrong with me that I have to resort to drugs????. . . how could one child put 3,000 miles on a car in one month?. . . if my math is correct at this time of the night/morning, that's 100 miles a day. . . distance from beach house to campus is about 5 miles. . . a total of 10 miles per day. . . where did she drive the other 90?????. . . .why is that other one up so late?. . . and how about that $180?. . . I'm definitely going to make her pay for that. . .that $180 is exactly the reason I'm glad she's in the high school and no longer at that all-girl's school . . . . CHRISTMAS!. . . CHRISTMAS!. . . CHRISTMAS!. . . I'm doomed at work tomorrow. . . how will I ever get through the day. . . wish I didn't have to work. . . why do I have to work?. . . why can't that agent come through with a book deal for me. . . then I wouldn't have to worry. . . I could sleep all day if I wanted to. . . I'm not buying any presents for Christmas. . . giving gifts to charity in people's names. . . perfect. . . I need to look for a new agent. . . if another person dies, I think I'll scream . . . can you just imagine my daughters planning mine???. . . if that little black dress she wore to the city is any indication of what she'd wear to my funeral, I better take good care of myself for a good, long time. . . and pictures. . . . I haven't let anyone take a picture of me since 1989 . . . that's alright though. . . . they'll all think I stayed young and skinny. . . "Remarkable!" they'll say. . . .CHRISTMAS!. . . I need to set the date for the office party. . . and presents???. . . please don't make me step foot in The Mall. . . I haven't been there since the summer and I want to keep my record . . . I'll just tell people that I work for a church and it's our busy season so I had no time . . . no wonder that credit card company's calling me. . . 3,000 freaking miles in one month. . . you tell me how. . . $180 freaking dollars in one night. . . you tell me why. . . and we never did punish that middle one. . . she got by me once again. . . remind me tomorrow. . . NOT SLEEPING!. . I think that little plastic toggle thing is still on my underwear. . . it's scratching up my left hip. . . makes sense. . . I probably couldn't find a pair of scissors. . . I wonder how many pairs of scissors I've purchased in the last 22 years of marital bliss?????. . . . but can you find them when you need them?. . . No, not a single pair to be found when you need them for your underwear. . . I could take them off and bite the little toggle thing off, but somehow that just doesn't seem proper. . . serves me right for buying leopard-print underwear. . . like I need leopard print underwear????. . . . ri-dic-li-ous! as my daughter might say. . . Oh, no!. . . . the cat's meowing to go outside . . . may as well go downstairs now. . . I'm the only one that ever does. . . .one of these nights I'm going to fall and break an ankle. . . maybe then I won't have to go to work. . . Oh . . . my. . . . God! . . . she won't go outside. . . I just looked at the freaking clock at it's 4 FREAKING 30 a.m. and the freaking cat wants to eat!. . . I'll go back to bed and she'll just wait until she hears a change in my breathing pattern before she "thwacks" on the door and expects me to let her out. . . crying does absolutely no good in this situation. . . get real, girl . . . grab that pillow and get real!!!!. . . maybe I'll call in sick to work . . . can't do it. . . too much to do. . . funerals! . . . do you believe the nerve of that child saying I had no right to know anything about her life? . . . right/schmight. . . I'll ask her any darn thing I want!!!. . . pillow. . . why is that pillow on that side of the bed. . . thank God I didn't even attempt sleeping in my own bed tonight. . . I have twisted these sheets around so they look like a candy cane. . . bet my husband's snoring away right now. . . and he says I snore. . . I just make a little clicking noise with the intake of breath. . . . not my fault, really. . . could be a deviated sceptum or something like that. . . . I think I'll go to the doctors one day and then he'll feel bad . . . maybe I'll just make some noise right now and wake him up for the hell of it. . . . misery loves company, you know. . . . WAKE UP! YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-SLEEPING-SNORING-HUSBAND!!!!. . . . You said for better or for worse. . . this is the worst!!!!. . . . make me a cup of tea . . . rub my back. . . hit me over the head for all I care. . . just put me to sleep!!!. . . . wouldn't I love to do it. . . . My goodness, I might have a headache. . . now I'm definitely in trouble tomorrow. . . the cat will definitely want to go out soon. . . daughter will definitely be up within minutes. . . should I make coffee? . . . I'm not timing her in the shower this morning like I did last time. . . too much anxiety. . . I don't give a rat's bananna how long she stands in there running the hot water . . . water off a duck's back as they say. . . at least we did one college application . . . . even if she does nothing else, she could still go to college. . . . that's if we have any money left in her 539 account. . . or is it a 529?. . . did I pay the electric bill?. . . not sure I did. . . don't remember paying it. . . you know, if those FREAKING daughters didn't take up all my freaking time, I might still have a head on my shoulders. . . but, no, instead I have to worry. . . worry. . . worry. . . I don't want coffee now. . . I haven't sent Christmas cards in five years. . . why would I start now? . . . maybe I'll blog about how I don't sleep. . . that's it. . . but I won't do it now. . . I'll just wait. . . get this pillow. . . untwist my covers. . . try. . . try. . .pillow. . . I paid it. . . I remember now. . . . . no coffee. . . . pillow. . . .try. . . remind me. . . . . . . .
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The reason I didn't sleep a wink all night!
Am I awake?. . . I'm not sleeping so I must be awake. . . Oh, no!!!!. . . . How long have I been awake?. . . I think I've been thinking for a while now. . . I wonder if this is an official "not sleeping" or just a temporary one. . . we'll know pretty soon, now won't we . . . I'll be exhausted in the morning . . . should have taken a Tylenol p.m. . . might be addicting. . . I bet they can be. . . just my luck. . . I'd be the one to become addicted to them. . . Christmas!. . . Oh, my God, change the subject. . . let's see. . .what will I blog about tomorrow . . . teenage daughters?. . . I can't mention the breakup . . . a little too personal. . . how about a thankful theme again. . . no, couldn't muster up enough to be thankful for. . . not sleeping. . . I'm definitely not sleeping. . . it's official . . . let me roll over. . . perhaps a trip to the bathroom?. . . no, too lazy. . . I'll blog about the college application thing. . . how she was texting through it all . . . but she was just texting her friend to see if that guy she knew liked that college. . . she didn't think I needed to freak out! like that. . . too late. . . water under the bridge as they say. . . get the right pillow that's all. . . now where was I?. . . Christmas! . . . no, silly, it is way too late to take a Tylenol p.m. . . . what's wrong with me that I have to resort to drugs????. . . how could one child put 3,000 miles on a car in one month?. . . if my math is correct at this time of the night/morning, that's 100 miles a day. . . distance from beach house to campus is about 5 miles. . . a total of 10 miles per day. . . where did she drive the other 90?????. . . .why is that other one up so late?. . . and how about that $180?. . . I'm definitely going to make her pay for that. . .that $180 is exactly the reason I'm glad she's in the high school and no longer at that all-girl's school . . . . CHRISTMAS!. . . CHRISTMAS!. . . CHRISTMAS!. . . I'm doomed at work tomorrow. . . how will I ever get through the day. . . wish I didn't have to work. . . why do I have to work?. . . why can't that agent come through with a book deal for me. . . then I wouldn't have to worry. . . I could sleep all day if I wanted to. . . I'm not buying any presents for Christmas. . . giving gifts to charity in people's names. . . perfect. . . I need to look for a new agent. . . if another person dies, I think I'll scream . . . can you just imagine my daughters planning mine???. . . if that little black dress she wore to the city is any indication of what she'd wear to my funeral, I better take good care of myself for a good, long time. . . and pictures. . . . I haven't let anyone take a picture of me since 1989 . . . that's alright though. . . . they'll all think I stayed young and skinny. . . "Remarkable!" they'll say. . . .CHRISTMAS!. . . I need to set the date for the office party. . . and presents???. . . please don't make me step foot in The Mall. . . I haven't been there since the summer and I want to keep my record . . . I'll just tell people that I work for a church and it's our busy season so I had no time . . . no wonder that credit card company's calling me. . . 3,000 freaking miles in one month. . . you tell me how. . . $180 freaking dollars in one night. . . you tell me why. . . and we never did punish that middle one. . . she got by me once again. . . remind me tomorrow. . . NOT SLEEPING!. . I think that little plastic toggle thing is still on my underwear. . . it's scratching up my left hip. . . makes sense. . . I probably couldn't find a pair of scissors. . . I wonder how many pairs of scissors I've purchased in the last 22 years of marital bliss?????. . . . but can you find them when you need them?. . . No, not a single pair to be found when you need them for your underwear. . . I could take them off and bite the little toggle thing off, but somehow that just doesn't seem proper. . . serves me right for buying leopard-print underwear. . . like I need leopard print underwear????. . . . ri-dic-li-ous! as my daughter might say. . . Oh, no!. . . . the cat's meowing to go outside . . . may as well go downstairs now. . . I'm the only one that ever does. . . .one of these nights I'm going to fall and break an ankle. . . maybe then I won't have to go to work. . . Oh . . . my. . . . God! . . . she won't go outside. . . I just looked at the freaking clock at it's 4 FREAKING 30 a.m. and the freaking cat wants to eat!. . . I'll go back to bed and she'll just wait until she hears a change in my breathing pattern before she "thwacks" on the door and expects me to let her out. . . crying does absolutely no good in this situation. . . get real, girl . . . grab that pillow and get real!!!!. . . maybe I'll call in sick to work . . . can't do it. . . too much to do. . . funerals! . . . do you believe the nerve of that child saying I had no right to know anything about her life? . . . right/schmight. . . I'll ask her any darn thing I want!!!. . . pillow. . . why is that pillow on that side of the bed. . . thank God I didn't even attempt sleeping in my own bed tonight. . . I have twisted these sheets around so they look like a candy cane. . . bet my husband's snoring away right now. . . and he says I snore. . . I just make a little clicking noise with the intake of breath. . . . not my fault, really. . . could be a deviated sceptum or something like that. . . . I think I'll go to the doctors one day and then he'll feel bad . . . maybe I'll just make some noise right now and wake him up for the hell of it. . . . misery loves company, you know. . . . WAKE UP! YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-SLEEPING-SNORING-HUSBAND!!!!. . . . You said for better or for worse. . . this is the worst!!!!. . . . make me a cup of tea . . . rub my back. . . hit me over the head for all I care. . . just put me to sleep!!!. . . . wouldn't I love to do it. . . . My goodness, I might have a headache. . . now I'm definitely in trouble tomorrow. . . the cat will definitely want to go out soon. . . daughter will definitely be up within minutes. . . should I make coffee? . . . I'm not timing her in the shower this morning like I did last time. . . too much anxiety. . . I don't give a rat's bananna how long she stands in there running the hot water . . . water off a duck's back as they say. . . at least we did one college application . . . . even if she does nothing else, she could still go to college. . . . that's if we have any money left in her 539 account. . . or is it a 529?. . . did I pay the electric bill?. . . not sure I did. . . don't remember paying it. . . you know, if those FREAKING daughters didn't take up all my freaking time, I might still have a head on my shoulders. . . but, no, instead I have to worry. . . worry. . . worry. . . I don't want coffee now. . . I haven't sent Christmas cards in five years. . . why would I start now? . . . maybe I'll blog about how I don't sleep. . . that's it. . . but I won't do it now. . . I'll just wait. . . get this pillow. . . untwist my covers. . . try. . . try. . .pillow. . . I paid it. . . I remember now. . . . . no coffee. . . . pillow. . . .try. . . remind me. . . . . . . .
