Tuesday, January 20, 2009

100th Post! Earplugs, Dramamine, and a Prescription for Xanex

Yes, this is my 100th post!

In conjunction with my recent Honesty award given by Amy at http://bitchinwivesclub@blogspot.com/ (yes, I love the name of her blog and wish I had thought of it first) I thought I would try a little honest advice.

As you all must know by now, I am the proud mother of three "teenagish" type daughters - ages 21, 18, and 17. Well, until quite recently I viewed myself as a relatively good and level-headed human being. But "good" as I thought I was, I found myself totally unprepared for the changes this stage of motherhood has brought. For, in my experience, this stage of motherhood requires more patience, persistence, and prayers than those that came before it.

I know, that on this blog, I may make parenting of teenagers look easy, but - as effortless as it might appear - the truth is I've had a wee bit of trouble raising my daughters. . . .

Yes, everyone makes a big deal when you first become a mother, but I'm dying to know. . . . Has anyone ever thrown a shower for the mother of a daughter entering puberty? Or the mother of a "Sweet" 16-year-old?

Well they should!

And I want to be on the guest list!

For my gift to you, my friends, would be earplugs, dramamine, and a prescription for Xanex.

Did you know that there are an estimated 12 million teenage girls in the United States alone? And a newborn daughter is born every 14 seconds???? And so, for all parents of young daughters out there, I honestly want to say . . . .

My friends, you don't know this yet, but these are your golden years!

. . . the days when you can still pick your child up and place her in "time out". Have you ever tried that with a teenager? These girls will run to their room and slam that door in your face long before you ever knew what hit you - leaving you no satisfaction in screaming after them. . . And don't you come out until I tell you to! (Until you tell them? Good God, that child may not voluntarily come out of her room again until she's 20!)

It's time you looked on the bright side!

  • Don't worry about children who won't take a nap, for one day that child will sleep through a mild explosion in her room.
  • If you have a problem with a mere diaper, what do you think is going to happen when that daughter starts wearing a thong?
  • Stop worrying about temper tantrums, for it isn't until she's a teenager that will you experience the full wrath of your daughter's anger.
  • Please don't complain about finicky eaters - you've not seen anything until you've tried to keep up with the diet of a teenage girl.
  • And as far as those sleepless nights??? At least there's no mistaking exactly where that screaming toddler is - leaving you virtually assured that you won't be receiving a call from the local police department some time before dawn.
So take my advice, for no one ever told me until it was too late. . .
relax. . . enjoy. . . appreciate . . . and . . . HOLD ONTO THESE YEARS.

For, before you know it, you'll be in my shoes.

And - oh- I can't wait for the day I hand them down to you!