Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Would you like to hear another story kids?????

It seems that not everyone is afraid of a trainwreck like me . . . for I'm guest posting on Smart A$$ Mom today while she's away on vacation with her husband and kids.

And you know. . . being that she's a recent transplant to the Garden State (that would be New Jersey for those of you who don't recognize the motto . . . ) I felt like I needed to give her a few pointers. Go check it out!

But for those who stay behind. . . I have another story for you from The List. . . This one clocks in at number 8 and is fondly known as If Her Lips Are Moving. . . .

If her lips are moving. . . she’s lying!
At least that’s what a good friend of mine told me, and I find it a good adage to live by. Consider for a moment, what my grounded daughter recently tried to get me to believe.

Although she was being punished, this daughter was still allowed to drive to karate lessons. And even though she could attend any number of classes throughout the week, I knew the class times that she usually attended. So when she attempted to tell me that she was going to a “double” class on a Monday evening, I questioned her.

Are you telling me the truth?

Of course, Mom! Where else would I be going?

Keep in mind that, because she was grounded, I had confiscated her cell phone; leaving her no choice but to use the house phone to speak to her friends. The caller I.D. on the phone clearly told me that she had recently spoken to one of them. I also noticed that she was straightening her hair. For karate???

Where else would you be going? Oh, I don’t know. . . . maybe somewhere with Susie. . .

In my karate uniform? Mom! Why don’t you trust me?

So after beaucoup discussion, we agreed that she would call the house phone when she got to karate so that the caller I.D. would display the fact that she was, indeed, where she should be. (Trust, but verify–another one of my favorite rules to live by.) I then went on my way, and she went on hers.

But I still wasn’t satisfied.

When my husband called to say he was on his way home from work, I asked him to swing by the karate place to look for her car.
As I suspected, her car was not in the karate parking lot.
But it was, coincidentally, in the parking garage of the movie theater across the street.

And, yes, she had left a message for me at home from the karate studio phone informing me that she was there.

Like I said, If her lips are moving, she’s lying . . .

p.s. And just why was she grounded in the first place? you might ask. . . . That - my friends - is a story that ranks waaaaaay up there on the list and is being reserved for a future date. . .