Hello God? Can we talk?
As I'm sure you already know, Trigger was home this weekend.
That's right, Trigger was home for the first time since she left for college over six weeks ago.
Now I don't pretend to call myself an expert on dorm life or anything, but I'm convinced this may have been the first opportunity our little Trigger had to actually sleep since she left home. And the first opportunity to shop. . . and the first to get her eyebrows threaded. . . and her nails mani-pedi-ed. . . Oh yeah. . . and the first time she actually did her laundry ( 'cause it seems that if you spend all those extra flex dollars your mother puts on your student card on Pumpkin Spice Lattes, suddenly there will be none left over to do your laundry . . . )
But it was also our first opportunity to embark on a new more-grown-up mother/daughter relationship.
Just how did it go? you might ask. Let's look on the bright side and say that - although it may have been the first - it will definitely not have been the last. . .
And so I find - Dear Lord - that I'm in a position where I simply must ask you once more. . .
Watch over that little Trigger of mine. . . keep her safe and warm (even though I refused to buy her that new white Northface jacket) . . . Keep her healthy (promise me you'll make her phone that prescription in and start taking her meds like she is supposed to, 'cause Friday's phone call from her NYC Rhuematologist with her blood test results should have been enough to scare the bejesus out of anyone. . .) Make sure you drag her little butt out of bed for her 8:00 a.m. classes and teach her that all-nighters should be reserved for exam time only. Remind her always to clean her hair off of the shower walls (she does have roommates, you know. . . ) and show her the miracle of putting more flex-dollars on her student card from her own bank account! Make sure she's eating a healthy diet (once more, the absence of flex points rules out her prior vending machine diet. . .) And in regards to her social life and the sorority she's joined? Could you make sure that she remembers to stand on her own two feet (despite the fact that she will be forced to stand in her old Uggs and not the new pair she begged me for. . .) and doesn't do anything too wild and crazy with those frat boys???
Could you do that, Lord?
'Cause God knows (yes, You! ) I can't.
