Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Ignore Button

I've decided that the only logical way to handle motherhood is with the IGNORE button.

No. Seriously.

You don't own one?  It's like the Easy button. . . only better.  And I've found it comes in especially handy when dealing with college-aged daughters.



Trigger:  Mom!

Me:  What?

Trigger:  Are you really coming to visit me next week?

Me:  Yes.

Trigger:  When are you coming?

Me:  Thursday.  And leaving on Friday.

Trigger:  Great!  Just in time.  I need you to bring me a long white dress for my induction into the sorority on Saturday night.    It has to be very conservative . . . nothing strapless or see-through. . . .you know. . .  very lady like.  I don't care what else you do, you have to go to The Mall and find a dress for me and bring it with you.


or how about this one. . . 

Trigger:  Mom!

Me:  Yes?

Trigger:  Didn't you put more flex dollars on my student card?

Me:  No.  I told you last time you asked. The money I put on your card at the beginning of the school year was IT for the semester.  If you need more flex dollars, you can transfer them from your own bank account.

Trigger:  But Mom!  You know I don't even know how to do stuff like that.   You're the one who's supposed to do it for me.   Every one else's parents do!

Now, THAT was easy!