Thursday, November 3, 2016

Dear Makers of At-Home Pregnancy Tests

Dear Makers of At-Home Pregnancy Tests;

As a postmenopausal woman, I freely confess that I have not had the opportunity to use one of your products for more than two decades (although I have found your tests stashed away in my daughters’ drawers from time to time) but nevertheless I have a suggestion for you.  Instead of having a line system which simply offers the results “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant” could you offer a few more options for your users?  You may be brilliant scientists but here’s a little secret for you:  The rest of the world does not think simply in binary terms like you do.

We’re complicated . . .anxious . .  .emotive .  . .

Let’s think about it, is there another product on the market that has the power to silently change a woman’s life within ten minutes?

So why don’t you mix it up a little?  How about lines which read “Surprise!” or “Whew!”?   What about a simple “OMG!”, “Thank My Lucky Stars!”, Not Again!” or “Told You!!!!  You could even consider adding, “Shucks!” or “Try Harder Next Month!” On second thought, I don’t think either of those last two would be quite appropriate.

What about some music to coincide with the results?  If we can add music to mere greeting cards, why not a pregnancy test?

Please understand that as women, we use your product for many reasons, and we await your results with many diverse emotions:  hopeful anticipation, trepidation, fear of failure, denial, or reluctance. 

You name it, I’ve been there.

and postmenopausaly