Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why every mother should have texting on her phone plan

I don't text.
That's right, you heard correctly. I don't text.
Alright, I'll rephrase that. I don't text. . . gracefully.

In fact, in an effort to save a few pennies in the family budget, I don't even have texting on my plan.

Quite in contrast, my daughters text constantly. I just checked in with my youngest two and - while Trigger couldn't remember how to retrieve the data from her phone - Ponzi informed me that so far in this billing cycle she has sent 1068 texts and received 1006. (Daughter Number One - remember - spends a lot of time talking on the phone, for how else would she have racked up that humongous Heaven Nundred and Nifty Blue Scholar phone bill??? Yes I know, that has nothing to do with this post and I need to get over it. I'm trying. I swear.)

But what does have relevance to this post is this . . .

It was snowing in New Jersey last night.

And, because it was snowing, Trigger wanted to take the house phone to bed with her - hoping for that early morning phone call to tell us that school was cancelled.

Only problem???
I heard a strange buzzing in my ear at 5:38 this morning.
Me Think: Oh Jesus! Now I have to find my glasses!

Trigger Text: School's closed!

Me Think: How the hell am I going to spell Hurray! at this time of the morning??? And ask her if she told her sister? And ask her how she feels? (Because my last semi-conscious thought before drifting off the night before was some vague report that her chest hurt from pleurisy. . . )
Me Text: huspaz

Me Think: Shit! No one told me that the little light goes off after 30 seconds! How am I supposed to find all those little letters now???? Nevertheless, I persevered. . .

Me Text: huspaz did you tell your sister do you have to in to the dr (Which translates to Hurray! Did you tell your sister? Do you have to go to the ER?)
Trigger Text: Yeah I told her. And it still hurts, but I'll be okay.
Me Text: find this is costing of money i have to in. (Which translates to, Fine, this is costing me money. I have to go.)

After which. . . I didn't sleep a wink all night!