Sunday, March 8, 2009

It's a jungle in here

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A few weeks ago I confiscated another thong.

Now don't be hurt that I didn't tell you about it . . . it was just a day like any other, and I didn't want to bore you with another tale of a thong kidnapping. It's just that we were approaching Valentine's Day and I saw a little number floating about that I didn't particularly like.

It looked something like this. . .

. . . only it had little red studs in the shape of a heart on the front.

Well, I figured that no one in my household had any business owning a thing/thong like that (especially so close to Valentine's Day) and so I confiscated it.

End of story.

Or so I thought.

Until I went to look for a pair of my panties that look a lot like this. . .

. . . only they have leopard spots on them.

Those undies seem to have grown legs and taken off for the hinterlands by themselves.

Perhaps they're hiding in my sock drawer. Perhaps they're in the pocket of my bathrobe. Or perhaps they're in a ball under my bed waiting for the cleaning lady to fish them out and put them on display when she comes next Wednesday. (Why does she insist on doing that? She's like my mother - exhibiting bras, socks, and panties at the foot of my bed for all to see. . . Here you go, you dirty little Nellie. . . This is what I found under your bed today!!!! My laundry hamper is right on the other side of the room. Would it kill her to discretely place the offending item in with the rest of the dirty clothes????)

But, I digress.

What I really want to say is that if I discover that one of my lovely daughters has confiscated my leopard-print-granny-panties in retribution for the missing thong, it will be a battle to end all battles! Survival of the fittest, my friends. Jungle warfare at its best!!!!

And, let me tell you, those teenie, tiny thong things can be hidden a lot easier than their old granny!