Sunday, June 7, 2009

The Things I Don't Understand About "Progress" Reports

Following is a list of the things that I apparently don't understand about "Progress" reports (as told to me by my teenage daughters. . . )

  • Because progress reports are addressed to The Parent or Guardian of a certain child, said child is not required to share them with her parents if she is over 18 because she's the guardian of myself now, Mom!

  • If you're missing like an assignment or two certain teachers might just give you an "F" until you hand them in . . . at which time your grade will automatically turn to an "A".

  • If you're missing like a couple of assignments, nicer teachers will put an "I" in that slot because they don't really feel like giving you that "F".

  • In any event, parents should not freak out! about a couple of missing assignments.

  • Everybody else gets "F"s and "I"s on their progress reports too.

  • She got a "B+" in her A.P. English course, so she's not dumb, you know. . .

  • In fact, these Progress report-things are so un-important, you might as well intercept them from the family mailbox and take them straight to your room to save your parents the hassle of even looking at them!

And so, they did. . . . And I - on the other hand - got to add a new item to The List.