Tuesday, March 13, 2018

The Unpredictable Puncturist

I don't remember if I've told you, but my right shoulder has been hurting for over a year now.  And so after numerous doctor's visits, cortisone shots, physical therapy appointments, reikki sessions, deep tissue massages, and chakra balancings, I returned to acupuncture.

Only I was fooled.

On my last round of acupuncture, my puncturist and I had gotten to a point where a session was almost predictable.  I would inform him I had neuropathy in my feet.  He would query me about my bowel movements.  And then he would insert needles into my head and my ears.  After a few sessions he decided that he needed to treat me more systemically and so he started to put those needles into my (cringe) belly button.

And so the morning of my first follow-up session I got myself ready - or so I thought.  I polished my ears; inside and out.  I made sure my belly button was squeaky clean. (No "smelly" button for me.) My fictitious answers to his all-too-private questions were well memorized. (Yes, exactly in the shape of a banana!  How'd you guess?)  By the time I reached his office, I believed I was all set.

Only my puncturist didn't ask me those questions.

I informed him that my shoulder was "killing me."  And so he went right to work.  As logic would have it, he began pushing on my lower back and stomach.  "Where does it hurt more?  Here?  Or here?"  And then he had me lie down and began to wiggle and roll my seriously-unshaven legs and proceeded to put needles at the juncture of two of my un-pedicured toes, one hand, and my stomach.

Of course!

Reminded me somewhat of this post from years ago!