This post needs to be subtitled, Please note the difference in my daughters' problem solving skills. . .
My load of "lights" in washer. . . my load of "darks" in dryer. . . a pile of 500 bath towels still sits on the floor of my bedroom. One hour later I enter the laundry room to remove clothes from the dryer only to realize that washer is running way past the time it should have finished. I open said washer to discover a bunch of thongs (size XS) swimming around. Clearly, these are not my clothes (because I know the only reason these girls "do" their own laundry is to hide the fact that they even own the things. . . .)
Me: What happened to my clothes in the washer?
Daughter Number Three: Oh, I put them in the dryer for you. . .
Me think: That's funny! I clearly did not see any clothing bunched up on top of the dryer in one wrinkled, messy, ball . . .
Me: Where are the clothes that were in the dryer?
Daughter Number Three: Well they weren't quite dry yet.
Me: Well where did you put them? Are they on my bed?
Daugther Number Three: I told you! They weren't dry!
Me: Well, let me ask the question another way. Where are the clothes that were in the dryer?
Daughter Number Three: In the dryer, Mom!
Me: (light bulb slowly dawning) And where are the clothes that were in the washer?
Daughter Number Three: I told you! I put them in the dryer for you, Mom!
The two loads of laundry smushed together in one dryer eventually dry and Daughter Number Three does her wash. I throw that load of 500 bath towels (don't get me started on bath towels) into the washer, and then to the dryer. Two hours later I return home and head downstairs to empty the dryer where a somewhat familiar sight awaits me. . .
Me: These aren't the bath towels? Whose clothes are these?
Daughter Number Two: Mine! I'm doing my laundry!
Me: Well, what happened to the bath towels that were in the dryer? (Again, the absence of a big ball of wrinkled bath towels had led me to be suspicious. . . )
Daughter Number Two: Well they weren't dry!
Me think: Oh, I've heard this one before! I bet she shoved her laundry in on top of those bath towels. . .
Me: So are there now two loads of laundry in the dryer???
Daughter Number Two: Of course not, Mom! Who would do a thing like that?
Me think: Try your sister?!?!?!!!
My Conscience: Okay - I admit - I said it out loud!
Me: Try your sister!
Daughter Number Two: Well, I would never do that!
Me: So, where are the towels? Did you fold them up and put them in the linen closet?
Daughter Number Two: Of course not! They weren't dry!
Me: So, please tell me, where are they?
Daughter Number Two: I put them aside for you, Mom!
Me: Yes, I'm sure that was thoughtful of you. . . where - exactly - did you put them aside?
Daughter Number Two: In the washing machine!!!
Me think: Of course! Why didn't I think to look there????
Me think again: Who the hell taught these girls how to do laundry anyway? Their father???????