Monday, March 16, 2009

And the award goes to. . .

I think I'm going with the Up Yer Kilt! motif for today.


I'm not really sure. Perhaps it affords me a way to be edgy without using bad words . . . to relieve some gnawing discomfort that seems to be troubling me today . . . and to grumble without - well - officially complaining.
So I am going to give an Up Yer Kilt award to the following anonomous people today (see if you can guess who they are. . . )

  • An Up Yer Kilt award goes to whichever member of my household lifted my shampoo and conditioner from my shower - leaving me stranded once again on Old Spice Island. . .
  • An Up Yer Kilter goes to my cat who refused to drink water from the toilet bowl this morning until I took a scrub brush to it at 6:30 a.m. . . . I hate to break the bad news to you, dear kitty, but it's a toilet - not an ever-flowing spring that miraculously refills from time to time.
  • A special award in the Up Yer Kilt category goes to the one who borrowed my debit card yesterday and forgot to return it.
  • An Up Yer Kilt also goes to a certain gentleman who allows his wife to drive around in a squeaky 1999 minivan with a missing hubcap without making an appointment to get the brakes fixed. (And when I say squeaky, I mean squeaky - so much so that the grocery cart retriever just told me I needed new brakes. . . Up Yer Kilt, Buddy!. . . and I don't mean you, Carlos, my favorite grocery store guy, I mean the person who won't make the phone call. . . I ask you - do I have to do everything????)
  • An Up Yer Kilt award also goes to the family member who was home all day, but obviously did not think it was in her job description to empty the dishwasher.
  • Add another Up Yer Kilt to all those who "piled on" throughout the day. . . I mean dishes. . . in the sink. . .
  • And how about the Up Yer's award that goes to the one who left the t.v. blaring when no one was home? And the half-full glass of iced tea perched precariously on the arm of the sofa? And the rest of the house looking like an entire family of refugees were forced to leave at gunpoint on a moment's notice?
  • The mail carrier even gave an Up Yer Kilt award to us today when he left a nasty note about parking too close to the mailbox on a "certified mail" receipt. I feel your pain, Mr. Mail Carrier. . . I feel your pain!
  • And let us not forget the Lifted Kilt award to the one who came to my place of employment today looking for a handout. (No, it wasn't one of our usual destitute characters looking for their next meal, it was my own daughter shaking me down for money for a manicure!)
And if you, dear reader, do not want to be the recipient of my next Up Your's award, you'd better leave a comment here quickly!!!!