Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Why lack of phone = test failure

Phone call interrupting my work day at 3:05 p.m.

Me: Hello?

Trigger: Mom! You have to go to the school and pick up my phone by 3:30 or else you're going to have to talk to the people who clean the school!

Me: Why do the people who clean the school have your phone?

Trigger: They don't have it. But you'll have to talk to them if you don't pick up my phone by 3:30.

Me: Well can I call them on your phone? Will they answer it???

Trigger: No!!!! Mom!!! Are you serious???? It's in the office!

Me: Why is it there? Did they find it in the trash or something?????

Trigger: Well, I was sitting by myself in my food prep class, minding my own business. . .

Me: Say no more . . . you were texting in class and your phone got taken away!

Trigger: And you have to go get it before 3:30 . . . or else you have to get it from the cleaning people . . . and who knows if they know how to give it back to you. . .

Me: I am not going to get it by 3:30! I'm busy at work today and I am definitely not going to leave here to get your phone! As a matter of fact, I may not make it there until tomorrow. . .

Trigger: Tomorrow???? You would really do that to your own daughter????

Me: Yes, as a matter of fact, I would. . . I'm crazy like that sometimes . . .

Trigger: Well, I have a test in Calculus tomorrow . . . and I need to study with Cindy on the phone . . . and now - even if you try to go and get it after work - I'm sure they won't know how to give it back to you. . . and if you save it for tomorrow. . . well that's just plain ridiculous. . . everyone gets their phones taken away from them. . . and everyone's mothers go and pick them up before the people in the office leave. . . now - just because of you - I'm going to fail that test!!! It's all your fault!!!!

Me: Oh Yeah? Well it's a good thing it's not a logic test, 'cause nothing you just said made any sense.

Trigger: Oh Yeah? Well it's a good thing it's not a sympathy test, 'cause you would definitely fail that!!!

And so. . . lacking in sympathy, but overflowing in logic, I am. . .