I know most people do their Ramdom Thoughts posts on Tuesdays, but hey, I'm not that organized. . .
- Carefully leaving your black high-heeled pumps carelessly strewn by the side of the bed will not serve your mean-spirited intent (which was to make your spouse feel bad about not sending you a certain mother's day card.) They will serve, instead, as an obstacle over which you will trip on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night (on your way, no doubt, to apply a new band-aid to the blisters you earned the day you wore them to work. . . )
- Coming home early from work because your back hurts from a midnight stumble and your priest-boss is on the Circle Line cruise around Manhattan for the afternoon and doesn't know how to operate a cell phone deserves nothing short of a good nap.
- Because some eyebrow threaders only work on Wednesdays and Saturdays, it is deemed acceptable for a daughter to wake her sleeping mother to ask to borrow her 1999 minivan in a pinch. The momentary humiliation felt while driving White Ice is far outweighed by the extended high that comes from sporting fabulous eyebrows for three extra days.
- Pouring the last glass of wine from a box is akin to milking a cow. One is compelled by nature to remove the interior bag and squeeze the last living breath out of that bag!
- Walking all hunched over and funny-like with your butt sticking out because you threw your lower back out tripping over a pair of shoes will only give you an ache in your upper back and make you look really not beautiful to your misguided husband.
- No matter how much your back hurts, it is somehow easy to get up in order to apply a second spoonful of parmesan cheese to your penne vodka.
- When you think about it, everything in life really is inter-connected. . . is it not???