Monday, July 13, 2009

Bad "Car"ma. . .

I'm officially posting a Rambling, Run-on, and Random Tuesday Thoughts post today (even though it's Monday) and titiling it Bad "Car"ma . . .

If you want to see more Random Tuesday thoughts, click on over to Keely's (tomorrow, that is. . .) and join in.
  • Don't you hate in when you wake up in the morning to the familiar smell of homemade popcorn (a.k.a . old smelly burnt oil) and are quickly greeted by the sight of a kitchen and family room left in disarray after you went to bed? Wouldn't you just love to leave Ponzi a big note showing your discontent and telling her to clean it up fast?
  • Or when you snoop on-line to see if Trigger has completed her math placement exam as promised (a pre-requisite to her college orientation tomorrow) and she still hasn't. . . no matter how long you've been bugging her to do it?
  • And how about when, just for fun, you open your on-line banking to peek at your cell phone bill and see that it rolled in as a whopping $520 for just one month? Don't you hate it when that happens???
  • And how about when your husband calls you at work to tell you that he talked to the mechanic, who thinks he knows what the problem with Roberta is this time, and wants to take the car home overnight just to be sure, but can't unless you pay $60 for him to perform the overdue state inspection, which he would be happy to perform but is unable to because he cannot find not a valid insurance card in the glove compartment due to the fact that the replacement ones you ordered haven't arrived in the mail yet?
  • Or how about when your Priest-Boss gets informed that your two teenage daughters were among the minions who got caught drinking on the church trip to Appalachia even under your husband's watchful eye???? Bless me Father, for my daughters have sinned. . .
  • Or when, out of the goodness of your heart, you go to drive a 450 pound woman to the office of temporary assistance to update her food stamp card and your 1999 minivan starts to buck and sputter on the way there and you're absolutely convinced that there is no way you're going to make it and you try to talk her into calling a cab for the return trip, but she's too timid, so you wait the hour and a half with her, but pour her into a cab at the end anyway cause you're afraid to have the car break down with her in it 'cause you didn't bring her motorized wheelchair and she can't walk more than five steps without having to rest? Are you not amazed when that happens????
  • And how about when you finally get your car to the dealership (not the same mechanic who has Roberta, mind you. . ) and they say Hey, do you know this car's overdue for inspection? or Hey, would you like us to put on a new hubcap??? Don't you just not feel like 'splaining the insurance card part, but do feel like you driving down to Appalachia and moving into one of those trailers yourself?
  • Or when, after a long tiring day, your sister picks you up from the car dealership and you arrive back home to find those old smelly popcorn dishes still in the kitchen sink and you call Ponzi repeatedly to no avail because she doesn't answer - only to find out hours later that she's been in the house and napping ever since you got home???? Aren't you glad you didn't resume the walking around the house naked you did when you knew no one else was home????
Now, don't you agree that any of these scenarios would be painful on their own. . . but when they all occur in the same day, it's even more than Bad "Car"ma. . . it's the peace and quiet of My Perfect Week unraveling faster than a roll of toilet paper on Mischief Night!!!!

And don't you just hate it when that happens????

Oh, and thanks to Veggie (who has indeed surfaced in the UK for all who were worried about her) for coining the "Car"ma phrase. . . creative phrasing must be genetic. . .