Friday, September 25, 2009

No More Missing Bodily Parts or Functions. . . Please!

Dear Readers,

It's not even a confession or Hello God? day, but I want to TTGL (thank the Good Lord ) for something. . . .because, in conjunction with my anniversary post yesterday, Kathy B. has allowed me to see the light.

That's right folks.   At long last I have discovered what LMAO means.


I had been looking at those four letters of the alphabet for a full year now, and not been able to decipher their code. Laugh My Ass Off.        

WTF???  Why didn't I think of that myself????

But this long-overdue revelation leads me to ask. . .What exactly are we people????   Some sort of crass-body-reducing-cannibalistic bloggers????  (Although, if I had  thought there was a possibility of actually laughing my big derriere off, I would have been right there LMAOing alongside the rest of you. . . )

And as for some other bodily functions . . . such as snorting coffee through one's nose or peeing in one's pants at the unending hilarity of my blog posts. . .I need to ask. . .  did no one ever PGWAG?  (Pass gas with a giggle????)  CCWAC?  (Cut cheese with a chortle???)  LLWAL  (lose lunch with a laugh???)

Of course you have!

But you know better.  Judging from the tone and tenor I set on the refined journalistic memoir that constitutes this weblog (now keep in mind that your favorite mom is almost a direct-report to God and steals His Holy Oils for her perfume. . .WTF again???? ) you - my faithful readers - are too polite to mention these things (which, frankly, are just TMI) in public.

Much safer to stick with A Mom on Spin's new non-oozing acronyms.  . . ICIRIL  (I came.  I read.  I laughed.)   ICIRIC  ( I came. I read.  I cried. . . Oh fiddlesticks!  I guess there's some oozing there, but it's good oozing. . . is it not????)  and my personal favorite,  ICIRIG  (I came.  I read.  I'm gone!)

Sweet.  Simple.  To the point.

No worries about the depth of funniness. No more missing parts or unwanted bodily fluids escaping when you least expect them to.

Oh yes - and no more windbags!

For more funny correspondence, go check out Kat while she still has her 3-Bedroom Bungalow across the pond. . .