Friday, October 16, 2009

You Know What They Say About Breaking Up

Dear Mr. Fish Eye in a Box,

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I'm breaking up with you.

That's right, our long-standing relationship is over. . . Done. . . History. . . Finito. . .

After all of the time and money I have invested in you, I didn't think you would disappoint me. 

But you have.  

Do you know how I felt when I reached for you after a long, tough day (aren't they all) only to be disappointed?  When, after struggling to Open flap A and Remove flap B, I pulled your little spigot out from your roly-poly belly only to find that something had gone terribly wrong with your fermentation process?  Do you realize the pain I was forced to endure while drinking my husband's red?

And do you have any idea, Mr. Fish Eye in a Box, the "udder" discomfort I felt when I was forced to pull the insides out of your box, open your spigot and squeeze the equivalent of four bottles of wine  down the drain of my kitchen sink?


I know that life may never be the same without your best customer, my friend, but you'll have to muddle through somehow.

I have.

 You see that circle on the front of the box?  That's A Mom on Spin's official seal of approval.  I swear!