Monday, July 19, 2010

Why Should the Cleaning Lady Have All the Fun?

So I want you all to know that I spent most of this past weekend doing some housecleaning of my own. . . right here on my blog.

First, I layered some depth to the hilarity that is me by adding pages (I'll take a moment while you note the little tabs at the top) after which I began the process of sporting my past posts by category.  And, while perusing over some of A Mom on Spin's old posts, I discovered - much to my chagrin - that there were just a few things that I needed to sweep under the rug (so to speak. . .)

You see, I oh-so-prudently decided that I should never post anything that I wouldn't want my current boss or parish priest to see.  Now being that, in my particular case, those two persons would be one and the same. . . well,  it just made my life all that much easier.  And so I quickly dismissed some of my more irreverent posts.   (But I decided that I would still keep my last post about thinking in obsceniteese.  Not even the Pope could hold my private thoughts against me.  Could he??? )

I also decided that perhaps Veggie may have been correct when she accused me of divulging a wee-bit too much information about my daughters' personal lives, so I then proceeded to deep-six any posts which mentioned escapades with old boyfriends as well as all those which might scare off new ones.

Which left Drip Dry.

Now I thought long and hard about whether he would ever-again find the time, energy or interest to open my blog and read it.  But, as many of you may have guessed by now, Drip Dry gets treated to a personally-tailored laundry list of complaints on a daily basis.  And we all know that - despite what I may say about him - Drip Dry's a smart guy.  So we must then ask ourselves:  Why in heaven's name would the man prolong his own agony by opening my blog and reading a rumination of the same drivel all over again?  Indeed . . . I'm thinking that when ten o'clock rolls around old Drippy's thinking. .  .Thank God that woman finally went to bed!  If I had to listen to one more of her friggin' stories (you see, he thinks in obscenitees too!) I'd grab that head of hers and spin it off of her body myself!

And so it was that I decided to keep the Drip Dry stories in.

So here I stand . . .the proud author of a blog which is no longer offensive to anyone other than the man I promised to honor, obey and cherish, and the one lady whose every-other-Wednesday visits to my house are the only thing that make my life worth living.

 Now that makes sense. . .doesn't it????

p.s.  And could you do me a small favor?  You know I've never been the most thorough of housecleaners, so if you're reading an old post and see a label that reads Hidden Veggie  or perhaps Our Little Secret, could you just avert your eyes and pretend you haven't seen it????