Saturday, February 18, 2012

Let's Talk about Food Aversions

So let's talk about food aversions for a bit.

Because mine don't seem to be going away.

Last night I went to a wedding reception in a beautiful banquet hall.  Well anyway, my husband and I arrived early to the reception and were directed down a Romanesque hallway full of candlelight and romantic music to a near-empty bar area where a sensible young woman stood next to a table of drinks and politely asked, Can I offer you a martini? whereafter I sat in a big leather armchair sipping my cosmopolitan while waiting for the rest of the nuptial guests to arrive.

And arrive they did.

About 400 of them.

At which point the door to the  room for the hors d'oeuvres was opened and there was an array of food on display like nothing I've ever seen before.   And while my husband and the others I was with proceeded to come back to the table with lamb chops, sliders, sushi, chicken, sliced steak, and all other sorts of messy, bloody, creepy, crawly, meaty things. . . I immediately headed to the nearest station and came back with mushroom ravioli in a cream sauce and a piece of fried mozzarella.

Both white.

Now my second venture to the pasta station found me a wee-bit more adventurous and I came back with rigatoni in puttanesca sauce. . . .after-which I proceeded to push away the olives and tomatoes and selectively eat the pasta. 

White again.

So my third venture was to the bar where I ordered a glass of wine.


And when the doors to the main ballroom opened and the waiter came to our table to take our dinner order, I quickly asked if they offered a vegetarian entree.  So that is how I found myself eating a to-die-for-risotto-with-grilled-asparagus for dinner.  They even threw a dollop of mashed potatoes on my plate for good luck!

And I don't have to tell you what color risotto and mashed potatoes are. . .

Okay my friends, you may not believe this. . .  but after the waiters came onto the dance floor and did some sort of musical flambe show and the wall to the Viennese "table" was literally rolled back, I thought I might throw up as 399 wedding guests nearly knocked each other over running to get their dessert.  Swarming.  They were swarming around that food like. . . resembling. . .exactly as. . .well some "creatures" which aren't exactly white unless they're in a laboratory.

So after sitting at the table alone for a good five minutes, I spied the item I wanted from a distance. . .stood up . . . steeled myself. . . headed in. . . and immediately came back with the only thing I could stomach.


So once again, I suppose I remain. . .