- All fear of shopping is well-founded.
- As lovely as you professed that Christmas tree to look in the living room for two straight weeks, it looks better with decorations on it.
- Giving a goat through World Vision is ten times better than one of your daughters getting yours.
- At 1:00 a.m. - in the Goldilocks insomnia search for the just-right bed - the couch in the newly-renovated basement room is definitely the most comfortable, but irrational fear of small rodents may still prevent you from resting comfortably.
- You cannot force a cat to sleep on the couch with you.
- You cannot convince your teenage daughters that taking your credit card to the Mall in order to purchase their gift to you is not "giving" at all.
- If you leave the tips for the cleaning service on your Boss's messy desk at work, they will pile them neatly under his calendar - ensuring that he will forget to distribute them, leaving you to figure out how to say "Happy New Year" in Portugeuse.
- If - by chance - you leave work for a personal Christmas luncheon you will find a sticky note entitled "Plumber's List" on your desk when you return.
- The first item on that list will read "Urinal in the men's room is still not functioning correctly. Must be fixed by Christmas!"
- If you dare to even think about writing a post about your Boss's last homily to children (you know,the one where he told the 8th Grade girls to imagine that they were "Pregnant by God!") you just might find yourself asked to write his children's Christmas homily for him - leaving you to toss and turn all night on December 22nd, wondering what on earth he should say!
There . . . It's 3:41 a.m. and I can cross tomorrow's (oh, God, no! It's today's!) post off my list of things to do. Perhaps now I can return to sleep.
