Sunday, April 26, 2009

How A Mom on Spin thinks on her feet

Remember my last post?

Trust. Trigger.

So my husband and I were driving down the Garden State Parkway after depositing Ponzi and her friends at the church youth-group retreat on Long Beach Island (. . . all hail exit 63!) when I heard the familiar buzz announcing that I had a new text-message.

And because I'm not real savvy at these things I quipped: Oh look! I have a new text message from Trigger! It reads, Call me when you're not wi. . . . when you're not. . . it says, call me when you're not driving anymore!

But it really said, Call me when you're not with Dad.

Would someone tell me who's lousy decision was it to Trust. Trigger. anyway???

Trust. Trigger.

And so, as soon as we landed at Exit 25 and my husband alighted from the car to make the prerequisite trip into the last-stop liquor store for overnight provisions (it's a "dry" town, my friends) I called her.

Trigger: Mom! Can I sleep out tonight?

Me: What do you mean, Sleep out? Sleep out where?

Trigger: Like at Johnny's house. . . you know. . . he used to be Tammy Quinn's boyfriend. . . so you know her parents. . . like he can't be that bad. . .you know. . . like if they let Tammy go out with him. . . and I really want to go there. . . and Jenny. . . and Katie. . . and Kimmie. . . they're all going. . . so I won't be alone. . . I"m sure Tammy used to sleep there too. . .

Me: Why can't you sleep at home like we agreed? You know, like an all-grown-up-eighteen-year-old-who-just-got-a-job-in-a-pizza-joint-daughter???? Will there be drinking there???

Trigger: Well, you know how we talked about how I wouldn't lie to you anymore??? You know, so you can Trust me??? Trigger???

Me Think: Let's see. . . if the kids are all going to Johnny's house to drink, that means they won't be throwing any wild house parties in my house. If I say Yes, I'm sure my house stays in tact. If I say No, they just might descend on my house instead. . . . I know she wants to tell me the truth and all . . . but do I really want to hear it? . . . Can I condone the behavior???

Me Further Thinking: Brilliant idea!

Me: I can't really hear you, Trigger! Your phone must be breaking up. . . I think you're asking me if you can sleep at Suzie's house tonight. . . and if that's what you're asking, the answer is definitely Yes! Suzie's house it is!!! Did you hear me???? I say Yes to sleeping out . . . .but let it be known that I can't really hear you correctly!!!!

Trigger: Thank you. Mom.

Me: And Trigger?

Trigger: Yes?

Me: If something happens and your father finds out, I will deny ever having this conversation with you.

Trigger: I know, Mom. . .

So let's hear it for my new mantra. . . Trust. . . Trigger. . . Trigger. . . Trust. . . Trust. . . Trust. . . Trigger . . . Trigger . . . Trigger!!!