Friday, July 20, 2018

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

In contrast to my last post, I've had a glorious few days.  (We won't talk about the absolute misery which descended in between and caused me to swear that I would not make any more social engagements because I would never again gather the strength to leave the house as long as I am lucky enough to live.  I've gotten over that.)

The point is, that I believe I have discovered a few things.

In my book when I speak about Buddhist philosophy, I mention that part of its very core is the acceptance that life is like the wind and can blow us from here to there at any time.

How true.  How true.

In fact, I think I've learned that my life can be directly connected to the weather.  Not quite a tenet of Buddha, but maybe a universal truth for me.  When I first became ill with Sjogren's, one of the most unsettling signs was that my exposed skin would turn bright red within 30 seconds of being in the sun.  Not only that, but exposure to the sun - even when swaddled in SPF clothing - would make me feel ill and more fatigued.  That seems to have changed a bit.   I went swimming yesterday without my long-sleeved bathing shirt and sat in the late afternoon sun for a good 30 minutes without redness or rash.  I'll take it!

On flip side. . .

My body doesn't seem to be able to handle the absolute heat anymore. I was outside in the humidity at a graduation party last weekend and sat - like a fool - with sweat dripping from the rim of my head; using the fancy cocktail napkins to wipe my brow and causing my forehead to turn a bright Penn State blue without my knowledge. (Oh, how I wished that the wind had come along and blown me somewhere else at that moment!) The only way I finally cooled down was in the cold shower after my return home, and  I was completely wiped out for two days following.

And then the wind blew in these last three days of absolutely spectacular weather, accompanied by some other postive happenings in my life.   I began a regimen of prednisone which rids me of my joint and muscle pain; I had the chance to spend time with different friends both in the restorative goodness of  the forest and in a swimming pool; I have prayed alone in the contemplative quiet of an empty gothic church; taken a revitalizing nap with acupuncture needles in my body, and I have switched to a lovely pair of bamboo pajamas. 

Is it any wonder I've decided that life for me is good once again?

The wind, my friends.

The answer to my life just may be blowin' in the wind.