Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bathroom Etiquette - Part three

A Mom on Spin's Bathroom Etiquette as it pertains to a small sink and a little vanity in a tiny bathroom shared by three teenage daughters

  1. The bathroom counter is no place to leave your black sticky boobs - even if they are nested together.
  2. Nobody likes toothpaste candy, so it is suggested that you remove the globs of toothpaste from the sink before the next occupant wants to brush her teeth.
  3. If you're looking for an item you lost circa 1996, check the drawers of the tiny bathroom vanity, for they haven't been cleaned since somewhere around that time.
  4. You know that basket I put there to hold all your crap? Well, it doesn't have a false bottom, so sooner or later it starts to overflow.
  5. Because your bathroom also doubles as (God help me) the guest bathroom, at least one hand towel must be reserved for guests' use. Whatever acne removing gel you get on the other towels should not be used in the vicinity of the latest appointed guest towel.
  6. You will recognize the "appointed" guest towel because it is the only towel that is neatly folded and does not have a weird-splotchy-absence-of-color-disease like the other 500 towels in our house.
  7. Just because the cabinet above the sink has tri-fold mirrored doors, does not make you a movie star. Viewing your freshly straightened hair from multi-angled mirrors is great, but you have no peeps to close the cabinet doors for you when you are finished.
  8. The little wingy-things of the bandaids should reside in the trash receptacle after the bandaid is secured on whatever body part you have cut shaving.
  9. The hair straightener and bathroom sink make strange bedfellows. Perhaps you should heed the tag on the cord of the straightener which reads, Danger! Do not use or store near water! (I hope - in your hurry to wash and dry your hair quickly - you also remember to heed the warning on the hair dryer which reads, Do not use while bathing!)
  10. Remember, when you take the last tampon from the box stored under the sink, throw it away!!!! (Not the tampon, you idiot, the empty box!!!!!)

Oh, and I have a p.s. to yesterday's post. . .
I don't care if you place it in a ziplock bag first. . .
Under no circumstances should you take your cell phone into the shower with you!!!!