Thursday, August 16, 2012

Messing with my Ch'i

I made a silent promise that I would no longer blog about my daughters.  Nevertheless, I have just one question for you:


Now, I know what you're thinking. . . What's wrong with that woman? Why can't she stand to have a couple of college-aged daughters home for the summer?  They appear to be lovely young women.  What could be so bad about having them around?

I'll tell you right now.

Simply put. . . the downside to having Ponzi and Trigger around for the summer is that They-mess-up-my-clean-feng-shui-house-and-spend-all-of-my-church-lady-money-requiring-oranic-only-foods-that-no-sane-person-on-the-face-of-God's-good-earth-has-ever-heard-of-much-less-ingested-and-neither-i-repeat-NEITHER-of-them-have-jobs-and-are-well-are. . .well. . . around. . .  for the summer.   THEY'RE IN MY HOUSE FOR THE SUMMER!!!

Yes, they're here. . . in my home. . .messing with my life energy.   And, in case you hadn't noticed, A Mom on Spin's ch'i is very delicato, my friends. . .very, VERY d-e-l-i-c-a-t-o. . .

Now I'm what you might call a minimalist (but don't go looking in my closet for confirmation of that little fact) and a bit of a neat freak too (a closet-peek would not confirm that claim either) and am doing my best to deal with a few recently-acquired food aversions (not my fault really. . .it's the mouse-a-phobic in me) so it upsets me terribly when, before I even leave the house in the morning, a certain daughter starts peeling raw onions, potatoes and leeks for a kidney cleanse (Mom? Just where is the organic garlic I asked you to get????) and I return home after a hard day of church-lady work only to discover that the pot which cooked said Slurry of Stinkiness is still sitting in my kitchen sink along with an assortment of other cups, dishes and cooking utensils . . .while 22 glasses of various shapes and sizes are scattered throughout the rest of the house ('Cause when you do a kidney cleanse, Mom, you're supposed to drink lots of water!) 

Now can I ask you:   WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS IT CALLED A CLEANSE?   My house has never been so messy!!!

As if that weren't bad enough. . .

In the midst of all this disarray, stands Ponzi leaning over my laptop on the kitchen counter with every ingredient required to make some sort of coco-buck-nut-wheat bread spilling over it like the lava in molten volcano. . . except - of course - the aluminum-free baking powder which is oh-so-essential to the well-being of my daughters but I have not purchased.  Now, who knew the human body is not supposed to ingest aluminum (Go figure!) leaving me to unwittingly expose my family to the horrors of aluminum poisoning for decades by purchasing the wrong baking powder?

Should I now consider it a good thing that I haven't had the energy it takes to bake so much as a single cookie since 1992???

 I ask you. . .  What is a mother to do when she feels her ch'i draining right along with her bank account?

Someone please send a yin for that yang,
'cause I'm dying here. . .